December 2011
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folkinz.: The Most ~*Inspirational*~ Celebrities... →
folkinz:
Lindsay Lohan - Lindsay wants us all to know that jail was “scary” and to be proud of your teeth no matter how jacked up they look. Hollyw00d Smilez 4 Every1!
Courtney Stodden - Courtney taught us all that a thesaurus and alliteration are sensually sexy. Meow! XOs. She also taught us a new…
We’re meeting this guy and this gal at an old cotton gin tomorrow morning at 8:30am. No reason.
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Words from a fat man wearing a cowboy hat in an...
“All that’s in this place are old things and rotten rotten ladies.”
LOLWUT?!?!
Yo sir, I bet you miss having sex…with other people.
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That time my grandmother sent me a Christmas card...
My grandmother (who I lovingly refer to as Nanny) recently told me a story of how when she was having my cousin help her get down her Christmas decorations he almost passed out due to a horrible, awful, rank smell coming from the large trunk with all of her decorations in it.
Ya see, my grandmother’s garage looks like an episode of hoarders…there is crap everywhere. About six months...
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We're all freaks, admit it.
Whenever I share something with someone in real life and they say, “Ew, TMI!” I make a disgusted face and think to myself, “Ew, you’re boring.”
Over sharing is the best, stop trying to keep up your “I’m normal and not at all a freak” appearances and admit that you love watching zit popping videos on youtube.
GOD.
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I want to but I won't
I’ve been FB stalking a girl that my good friend’s brother is currently dating. It sounds creepier than it is…but I fell into the black hole that are her FB photo albums yesterday and I profess that she is one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever laid eyes on.
I want to post a picture of her here…but that would be terribly inappropriate.
And yes, I’m a...
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All you gluttons out there should follow this...
It’s written by a cool cat who’s testing out his pastry chops at the French Culinary Institute in NYC. He’s super hot and super talented.
Also, I designed the logo…be nice to me and I’ll do nice things for you too :)
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Phone Shitty Shatty
Him: So what do you need for me to pick up at the store?
Me: fruit, cauliflower, and oh, can you get me some coffee beans so I can test out my new grinder?
(Alex has never drank coffee in his life)
Him: Um, ok…what kind?
Me: Surprise me.
Him: What? You’re setting me up for a fail. You’re gonna be all, ‘THIS COFFEE TASTES LIKE SHIT, LIKE ACTUAL SHIT.’ And...
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I left the theatre ONCE to use the restroom...
Alex’s XXL lemonade was not going to drink itself. And when I returned he informed me that I missed 1 of the 2 sex scenes.
SONOFABITCH
